To keep a friend, you first have to be one!
Having a best friend, playing with friends on the playground, going to birthday parties and having sleepovers are just some of the reasons why we love to have friends! Everybody needs friends! Without them, we would feel very sad and lonely.
Friends make life interesting and fun and they often provide much needed support, but things don't always go to plan. People change, relationships break down and sometimes things can get a little nasty. To have good friends, you also need to be a good friend to others and yourself!
What makes a good friend?
- Being equals - having turns at being the leader.
- Having lots of fun together.
- Working on the friendship together.
- Giving each other some space when needed. Even best friends need some time to be alone or with other friends, so don't try to 'own' each other.
- Respecting each other's differences.
- Feeling safe talking to each other about your feelings and problems.
- Trusting each other and looking out for one another.
Most adults would think themselves really lucky to have one true friend - someone they can trust and rely on for help and support when they need it. Good friendships last through good times and bad times.
Tips:
Take the time to get to know yourself.
Start by asking yourself some questions:
- Am I a friendly person?
- Am I a positive person who looks forward to each day?
- Am I a good listener?
- What am I good at?
- What do I like to do in my spare time?
- What can I share with others?
My friend and I are having problems, but I still really want to be friends.
How can we mend our friendship?
We all feel angry sometimes. We might feel that something is unfair or someone is being mean, but it is no good turning our back on our friends. The least we could do is to try and make things better. So what can we do?
Try to sort things out so that everyone gets a fair go. Here are 4 steps to follow.
- Think about it
- Talk about it
- Apologise
- Move on
Think about it | Ok, so your best friend has just said something ultra-mean about you. You're angry and upset. At times like these it is hard to sit down and just THINK, but that's exactly what you need to do. Ask yourself:
|
|---|---|
Talk about it | Since every argument involves at least two people, you've got to talk things over with your friend.
Here is an example of an "I" statement: "I feel lonely and angry when you spend more time with other friends because I don't know why we can't all play together." |
Apologise | Friendships aren't like the rugby and there should never be a winner and a loser. In fact, you'll BOTH LOSE if you let the fight ruin your friendship and you'll BOTH WIN if you find a way to mend it.
Here are two examples of an apology: "I feel really bad about _________ and I'm sorry that it happened." "I know you've felt _________ and I'm sorry for making you feel that way." |
| Move on | Work on rebuilding your friendship together by:
|
The above information was cited at http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/games/index.html.
This website has lots of interesting facts, games and quizzes about friends and school. Check it out!